WNL - Behind the Mask

New Chapter Begins here

From this point on I've decided to put myself completely out there for the world. Hey world can I be a famous blogger too, please? Sorry for the outburst, but I thought I'd go ahead and say what was on my mind. I, too, possess Kanye-style honesty so in this blog I'm going to say what I mean and mean what I say. I will express my opinions and share information that others may be too lazy to research. I don't want you to just read my blog. I want you to think and feel. I want to stir up passion that you didn't know you had. I want you to debate and deliberate. I want you to laugh with me and shake your head when I let my silliness out. I want you to be as much of you as I will be of myself. I want you to share with me. I am not the only person with a voice nor am I the only one with a story so let's build this thang from the ground up. This is my blog, but it's a shared place of exploration. Ms. B's Haven is school without the stupid rules and useless subjects. I guess I'll have to write more, too, but I'll stop here for today because after all, this is just a preface. Thanks for reading! Please stay with me.

Going Crazy

A lot has been going on in my life and I'm starting to feel lost in the tumultuous river of life, buried under mountains of schoolwork and stretched thin as many of my obligations and fixations vie for my time and attention. I want so badly to give up and go home, but there's nothing I need or even want there. All I want is at Howard, all I need is Howard. I've become a member of a few student organizations and I do my best to keep up with my studies, but it's like I'm on a treadmill and I haven't noticed that it's speeding up until I'm about to faceplant on concrete. I'm so angry and discouraged. I keep asking why I came here to see what I can't do or to just say I went here, without the degree to back it up, like Diddy? So, the gist of this lil paragraph was just to say that life is hella shitty right now and I need all the help, love and prayer I can get...Peace.

Do You Care?

I went to a mini poetry slam with my friends last night. Toward the end I got up and made my PSA about the DYC campaign. Before I finished speaking, I could tell by the blank looks on their faces that I wouldn't get many names. I was like maybe I should have written something poetic before I got up to talk to them all. But oh well, I'd rather skip nameless apathetic people and reach out to the world on the www. Read the lil sidebar on the vid for more info. Peace...

My ReDefintion

Never ever ever in my long-legged life have I felt so blessed and complete. This summer I decided to begin to become the woman I want to be. I thought "I'm 18, I can do what I want and be who I want to be...But who is that?" So I spent the summer thinking about who I want to be and I just couldn't figure it out. All I knew was what I didn't want to be. Now that I've left the nest, I'm flying even though I didn't know I knew how. Howard is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm meeting important people that can influence my future by chance. There's no doubt in my mind that my steps are ordered. Martin Luther King said, "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." I took a step and now it seems I'm on an escalator. Chyeah! Well, I gotta go, Dad's here all the way from NC!!! ChYeAh!!!

Chasing Cars

It's the end of the first day of classes at Howard. I'm looking out my window at the majestic clock tower on Founder's Library thinking about how much I'm in love with it all. I'm akin to Drake in that I have a lust for life. There's so much to do and so much to see, learn, experience, etc. that I don't know where to start. So I'm like a dog chasing cars. I find one subject interesting so I follow it until I find another topic to follow, oh, but then there's another more interesting tangent and so on. Even though most things I get into don't quite go anywhere, the ones that do take me places that more than make up for it. Two great examples of this are my Army JROTC career and my arrival at the Mecca. I just tried JROTC because I had no clue what it was about and I was up for the adventure off the beaten path. I can't believe all of the stuff I got to do because of that class like repelling, flying in a helicopter, and visiting Army bases. I might go into more detail later, but now I'm skimming. The other more prominent chased car would be the whim that led me to apply for admission to the best damn university in the world. I applied to Howard because I'd heard the name before, but I didn't really have a grasp of it's magnanimity. This place has brought forth so many amazing African American leaders, writers, activists, teachers, and so on...After I got my acceptance letters from the schools, I hopped on youtube to catch a sneak peek into life at those colleges. One of the videos that helped me make my mind up about HU was:
This place is like a cute pair of shoes that I picked up and tried on on a whim. Then I found that they fit perfectly, were comfortable and came with $100 for a matching outfit. Now that I'm in this hot new outfit I feel like super woman. I'm invincible and I can't and won't let myself fail. This place is too great a blessing to waste. I've never wanted to try so hard. I can't wait to get used to the way things work so I can jump right in with student orgs. I'm too good at too much to let others suffer without the commodity that I am. No, I'm not cocky or arrogant. I am just confident in who I am, and what I aim to be. I might go off on a tangent every now and then but the knowledge I gain from taking the road less traveled and, at times, blazing my own trail makes every mistake worth while. After writing this, I feel that even though I hate the feeling of a dog chasing cars, I know that I am getting closer to my dreams. Love...

More on my HU Experience (so far...)

Alrighty as you may have noticed, it's been a while since I posted. That is because I have been adjusting to my new life as a student of Howard University. The REAL HU (sorry Hampton folk, not). This past Friday I packed and left the beautiful state of North Carolina for my aunt's house in Va. My mom and I stayed the night there and then left for DC in the morning. Move-in day was chaotic. After all, the news said about 1700 freshmen were arriving at Howard all at once. The upperclassmen haven't really arrived yet. This week is just freshman orientation week. For me, it's been very busy. Howard's school of B is tough, but I like the challenge.I got to wear my suit today for the first time and boy! I looked sharper than a fresh samurai sword. And of course I had to turn heads by wearing my blue suit because I knew everyone else would choose black even though it was hhhhot out. The regular university orientation schedule starts at 8am and goes to about 4, 5 and one day 6pm. On top of that I have to keep up with the business orientation schedule which usually starts around 2pm and goes to 6. My days are solidly filled and slam packed. "[I]'ve officially been chopped n screwed!!!" lmao Mkay well it's time for me to crash. More info coming soon!