My Hebetude

I haven't been able to pay attention to anything lately. I get stuck in ruts where I know I should do stuff, but for some reason I just don't. Today was a waste. Everyday I ask myself what I accomplished and today the answer is NADA. My day was so stagnant that my memory didn't even bother to record the goings on. I finally watched The Soloist and as always Jaime Foxx never disappoints. I've been a Foxx fan for as long as I can remember. Well anyway since I don't feel like putting much effort into looking out at the world and providing my perspective on things, I will do what comes so much easier and be introspective...Lately I've been feeling pretty cold and heartless. I figure it's my usual form of destressing. Rather than worry myself to death like the people around me, if something is extremely stressful or worrisome I become apathetic. My mom hates it because "I don't care" literally becomes my catch phrase. Right now, I should be worrying about moving FAR away from home... whether or not I want to break up with my guy, my grandfather's death... my stalkerishly overprotective big brothers... my waning social life... etc. But really I couldn't give a blankety blankin' blank about it all. I've disconnected and become focused on what I want. The problem is that I have no idea what I want and here we are back at the beginning. I don't know what I want to do therefore I do nothing. My life is so sad it's funny. Today was such a fail it became a win. At least I looked cute...!
Much Love, Anna.
(It's Miss to you!)